by Lara Yokoshima

This is an alternate universe (AU) fiction, based on the Project: Unigenitus main characters. It can also have some small appearances of characters from other of my stories. Nothing written on this story can be related to PU, except for some character behaviors and names.

XIII. This Picture

As Yamah slowly opened his eyelids, a faint, familiar scent quickly reached his nostrils. It was the subtle fragrance of Eiji’s hair, whose head was just mere inches away from the other young man’s face. It was then that he realized they both were sleeping on the same bed. What was the point of renting a double room if he was going to sleep with me anyway? the white haired youth questioned with a soft grin as he carefully removed the dark brown strands of hair from his twin brother’s face with his fingers. The same feeling that often plagued his chest when he looked at his brother’s beautiful features was now becoming a common thing in Yamah’s heart. The difference now was that he accepted it without remorse, and thanked the heavens for being this close to his cherished one once again.

Interrupting his rhythmical breathing, the brunette gradually woke up and noticed his brother was tenderly gazing at him; certainly an odd expression for someone like Yamah who was branded as being as cold as ice. Eiji smiled a bit, now fully awake as he cleared his throat before speaking.

“That expression doesn’t fit you” the brunette said with mockery to a shocked Yamah, who immediately changed his face to a puzzled one.

“What do you mean??” the other youth asked, a bit upset by his brother’s comment as his body rose a bit from the bed. Eiji chuckled, not really surprised with his brother’s reaction and sat on the bed. The brunette was only wearing black briefs, leaving a view of his perfect skin and chiseled body features.  Both youngsters stared at each other for a moment, until Eiji laughed notoriously, breaking the silence.

“What?! This isn’t funny you know!” Yamah still couldn’t understand his twin’s laughter.

“You know what I mean Yashiro, it’s not like you to have such a gentle look in your eyes…” the brunette answered controlling his laugh, “I don’t even remember you that way when we were children”.

“Children…” the white haired youth repeated that last word while he let out a soft sigh. “Do you have lots of memories of when we were children?” Yamah asked, letting his body fall limp over the bed and staring at the ceiling with his arms crossed underneath his head.

“Hm… a few” Eiji directed his golden eyes to the window curtains, as if trying to remember some of them.

“More than I without doubt” the other youth replied with a smirk.

“Maybe” the brunette laid down again, his body turned to the right to see his brother with attentive eyes.

Yamah turned his head to the left, fixating his eyes on his brother’s golden ones. That single sight made his breathing stop for a moment, while his heart began beating faster. Eiji is so… Yamah stopped his thoughts almost immediately, swallowing hard when he noticed his brother was getting closer and closer. He could almost feel the moisture from Eiji’s lips with his own; how could they be so attracted to each other? Was it because he didn’t see Eiji as a brother now? Or maybe it was the fact that they were away from each other for too many years? He stopped questioning when the brunette touched his hand softly, making Yamah react as fast as a thunderbolt.

Yamah turned his head away, regaining his composure before anything regretful could happen. His heart pounded strongly and he could feel an intense heat all over his cheeks. Even though he liked all these sensations in a way, he couldn’t stop questioning Eiji’s real intentions when they were this close. Brothers were supposed to be close in a way; to tell each other their thoughts and dreams, and to share their experiences.  But this ‘relationship’ was becoming too intimate for him to manage. Maybe it’s because I’m not used to being friendly with people, and Eiji is trying to become closer with me like any other brother… the white haired youth analyzed the circumstances; the images of their last kiss interrupted his thoughts as he tried to ditch them from his troubled mind.

“Is something wrong?” Eiji finally asked his rather petrified brother, who lay still over the bed.

“N-no, not at all” Yamah quickly answered with a lie.

“So typical of you…” the brunette replied to Yamah’s answer, disappointment was noticeable in his voice. “It seems it’s still very hard for you to let your feelings come out. I have to admit I remember you were a bit quiet before though. But you have changed.”

I have changed? What about you??, Yamah felt wounded by his brother’s words. “What about you? You also hide things from me, like for example…” the white haired boy countered with something he always wanted to know, “your mysterious disappearances to that ‘job’ of yours. And the really big pay you get. If you really trust me, you would be able to tell me what that is all about”.

Eiji was caught off guard; his eyes instantly met with Yamah’s cold ones as he tried to find an answer to those inquiries. The brunette then turned his body around, rising from the bed and turning his back to Yamah.

“Won’t you tell me?” the other youth asked again, expecting some kind of answer.

“I’m not… I can’t.” Eiji replied, hastily escaping to the bathroom like a scared puppy and closing the door.

“You are evading me again!” Yamah tried to follow up, but it was already too late. Asshole… is his job that terrible for him that he is ashamed to tell me? I’m his brother for god’s sake! What was all that bullshit then, of getting reunited again and trusting each other?! I don’t understand him!!

The sound of the water coming down from the shower was all he could hear now; it kind of relaxed him, and soon his irritation was gone. There was no point in getting angry with his dear brother this early. Yamah glanced at his watch. It was almost 10:00 in the morning. I need to go back to the dorms to get some stuff, Eiji has some clothes with him, but I got nothing. There is a break between 10:30 and 11:00; I could sneak into my room before that time unnoticed. I need to take a shower quickly, but…

Yamah had a thought in that moment; He could just join his brother in the shower, but that was just too weird for him. He had taken showers with his classmates after basketball training, but this time it was entirely different. This time it was his twin brother, who also seemed to have this strange appeal towards him. Besides, it was a small bathroom with only one shower, how could he possibly think of that?!

No, no, no! Stop thinking shit like that! He is my blood, my twin! Yamah reproached himself and that awful feeling was consuming his body again. He placed a hand over his throbbing chest, and heaved a sigh. I have to go to the school dorms, he finally decided, a bit more calm now.

Taking his clothes that were lying over a chair, he rapidly dressed up. He took only his wallet and keys, walking towards the hotel room door ready to leave. But an uneasy feeling stopped him for a moment. I should leave him a note. The youth concluded that Eiji would be very worried if he noticed his brother was gone, so Yamah took one of the hotel notepad sheets and a pen to write a simple note. Again, he stopped in his tracks before opening the door. The white haired youth noticed Eiji’s backpack lying there on the floor near his feet.

As if someone might see him, Yamah looked around while opening the backpack. He started looking through Eiji’s stuff, finding only clothing, his wallet, and a cell phone. Since when has he had a cell phone? The bastard… Yamah grinned while still searching the bag. A stinging pain made him retrieve his hand; blood was coming from his index finger and Yamah immediately introduced it in his mouth to cure the wound. Something sharp was inside the bag, and with his free hand he cautiously searched for it. After a few seconds, his hand found a small piece of photograph paper, taking it outside. He turned the picture slowly, wondering what this photo could be about. He was shocked when he saw two small boys, hugging each other as they stared at the camera lens. One had dark brown hair and golden eyes, and the other one silvery hair and platinum eyes.

Staring at the worn picture more carefully, Yamah could feel his eyes getting humid and a small tear escaped from one of them. Am I crying?, the teenager dried his eyes with his right arm. Eiji… you have always remembered me, but I… I don’t deserve your love.

Standing up, he placed the picture inside his shirt’s pocket, as he opened the door of the hotel room. “Ja ne…” Yamah murmured in the direction of the bathroom door, closing the entrance behind him and leaving in silence.

Getting off of the crowded subway train, Yamah stared at his watch impatiently. 10:12… I can still make it in time, the white haired youth thought as he hastened his steps towards the NPHS building. He could see it in the distance, calculating only a few more minutes to arrive at the dorms. Diving into the morning crowd, Yamah walked as fast as he could, controlling his impulse to start running. He checked his watch one last time to make sure he was doing fine, but in that instant he bumped into someone.

“Sumimasen! I was being careless…” the white haired youth immediately apologized as he raised his eyes to see the person who he had bashed into. Yamah was surprised by the looks of the young man in front of him; he was definitely taller, and had only the top of his somewhat punk-ish haircut colored a shiny blonde that contrasted with his mildly dark skin. He had sharp, dark eyes and thick eyebrows, one of them pierced at the end. Piercings also adorned his nose, ears and lower lip. The guy was scary in a way, but Yamah didn’t show any amazement and just kept staring at him.

“No problem, kid” the other youth finally replied to Yamah’s apology with a smirk. Without saying more, the young man resumed his path, disappearing in the crowded sidewalk.

“Weirdo…” Yamah reacted moments later, as he continued on his way to the school, now beginning to run.

Exactly three minutes had passed when Yamah finally reached the NPHS dormitory buildings. He looked around, making sure that no one was there to see him enter the dorms.  When he was absolutely sure that there was nobody around, he took the emergency stairs up to the first floor and then headed for the elevator. Even though there were no students, the receptionist of the dorm was still there at the lobby. Yamah had to assure himself nobody would see him.

The elevator stopped at his floor, announcing itself with a soft ring of its bell. Yamah’s head popped outside the elevator, looking in both directions before exiting it. He quickly walked towards his room, entering it right away and closing the door with haste. Good, no one saw me, the youngster thought as he now opened his closet and took out his small travel bag. In almost no time he had most of his clothes and personal belongings inside the bag, closing it quickly and carrying it over his left shoulder. Before leaving, he checked the place one more time before going to the elevator.

Yamah had nearly emptied the room, but he didn’t want to take all his belongings with him yet. Something told him he might come back, but now he had to hide with Eiji for a few days until they were sure that their father gave up looking for them. Following his previous strategy, the white haired youngster stopped on the first floor and then exited the building using the emergency stairs. He checked his watch one last time; the little mechanical piece indicated 10:28 AM with its digital numbers. Just in time to promptly leave the building without being seen.

The young man decided to escape through the gardens at the back of the building and take a little stroll to clear his thoughts. It was the perfect place to relax his mind. He felt safe on that side of the school since most of the students preferred to be in the main gardens and the cafeteria during the break. Or at least that’s what he thought. Suddenly aware of a person walking his way, Yamah quickly tried to hide in the nearby bushes. But the other person, a black haired man with a low ponytail and round glasses noticed Yamah from the other side of the garden.  He frowned first, but soon he changed his expression to a cheerful one when he noticed that it was Yamah who was staring at him from the distance.

“Y-Yamada-sensei…” the white haired teenager stammered when he recognized his biology teacher. He cursed in his mind for being so careless and letting himself be caught, especially by such school eminence like Dr. Mamoru Yamada. Oh crap, I am doomed! But the tall, black haired man approached Yamah in a friendly manner, smiling since the moment he saw his student become alarmed because of his presence.

“What is my brightest student doing outside class? You are not even wearing the uniform today…” Mamoru asked in an almost graceful manner to his frightened pupil.

“Ah… err…” Yamah tried to find some kind of answer to tell his teacher, some good lies that would suffice, but every time he was in front of Mamoru, he couldn’t manage to lie to him. He always doubted, always at the most untimely moment.

“What is that bag for?” Mamoru continued his interrogation, “Are you going somewhere?” he continued, taking a step closer until he was finally standing just a few feet away from Yamah.

Yamah was completely lost. He lowered his head, fearing that the teacher would now take him to the principal’s office and call his parents. That would ruin everything he and Eiji had planned. He stood there like a scared child, waiting for Mamoru to speak again. But he only heard a soft sigh from the man beside him, and he then felt a hand being placed over his shoulder. Yamah raised his sight perplexed, while Mamoru stared at him with sympathy in his maroon eyes.

“Don’t worry, I won’t denounce you… yet” the doctor smiled evilly, but quickly then confessed to a worried Yamah he was just kidding. The white haired youngster barely chuckled to his professor’s bad taste in jokes, but he felt he could trust him; although Dr. Yamada was a full time teacher at the NPHS –and one of the best, he was very sociable with all the students and always emitted a trustful aura.

“So… what’s going on, Yamah? You didn’t attend my class this morning, and now I see you here with a bag over your shoulder. Running away from something?” Mamoru tried to make the boy talk as he began walking while Yamah followed him closely. But it was a difficult task to earn the teenager’s trust.

Yamah didn’t answer his professor’s question immediately, and shook his head in denial. Mamoru understood that his student was feeling pressured, so he decided to stop his interrogation.

“You know? You don’t have to answer me, it’s none of my concern anyway” the young professor withdrew all his intentions, and walked away from the tense youngster. The white haired boy was truly impressed, usually all teachers he had met were always meddling in the students’ affairs, discussing and asking until they finally got some answers, but Dr. Yamada was actually different from those other teachers. Yamah now had the urge to speak with someone that was not really one of his friends.

“Yamada-sensei, wait” the white haired boy asked Mamoru to stop. The young professor slowly turned around with his hands inside his pockets and a subtle smile was beginning to form in his lips. It was almost as if Mamoru had planned his reaction to make Yamah respond. The black haired professor joined his student once again and both walked together through the beautiful gardens.

“You know, I’ve always preferred this side of the school” Mamoru spoke with a casual dialogue, not wanting to quicken things for his apprentice, “it is always calmer than the main gardens or the cafeteria. Taking a walk here helps me relieve some stress after classes”.

I can’t believe he feels the same way that I do! Yamah thought in amazement. Could this man read his mind in some way? Or maybe he just had an incredible intuition for these kinds of things? Either way, the youngster couldn’t manage to find the right words to express what he was feeling. Mamoru noticed this, and stopped his steps momentarily to face his student.

“You can start speaking now, I feel kind of weird doing all the talking myself,” the young doctor said while chuckling a little.

“Gomen, is just that I have never felt the need to talk to someone…” Yamah said in a low voice.

“I have noticed that, you always seem so absorbed in your own thoughts” Mamoru replied. “Why did you now decide to interact with another human?” the doctor lightheartedly asked.

“I’m not really sure” the young man answered a bit ashamed of his antisocial behavior, “but now I really need to talk to someone… someone who is at least more intelligent than the average adult. That’s why I think you are the most appropriate person for this kind of thing…”

“I feel flattered you consider me more intelligent than the average adult” Mamoru smiled widely at his student’s innocent observation.

“I need some advice…” the young man finally said with a nervous tone in his voice.

“What kind of advice?” Mamoru was now more interested in his student’s sudden change of attitude.

“Um… love matters…” the teen shyly said while rubbing the back of his neck, lowering his head as a soft blush appeared in his cheeks.

“Oh!” Mamoru was really surprised to hear that from Yamah’s mouth. “May I know who the lucky girl is?”

“Hey, don’t get too confident doc, I’m not dumb enough to tell you” Yamah replied, a bit calmer now. “And you are a bit wrong about something… that’s why I need some advice”.

“You are in love with a guy then” Mamoru rapidly responded, very positive of his new assumption.

“H-how did you know?!” the white haired boy showed amazement with his teacher’s perception.

“Well, there was no other possible supposition” the black haired man replied with confidence while staring at the leafy trees.

Yamah was expecting some kind of criticism from his teacher, but Mamoru looked as calm as the trees around them. “A-aren’t you going to say how totally wrong that is or that I am a lame, degenerate person?”

“Why should I? As a gay man myself, I couldn’t be more sympathetic” the professor tranquilly confessed.

“Holy shit” Yamah said, placing a hand over his shocked face when he learned his teacher was homosexual. “I never thought you were… but you look so masculine! Er… that sounded too weird, forget about what I just said”.

“Well, that only proves how appearances can be deceiving” Mamoru laughed quietly and placed a hand over the silvery hair of Yamah’s head. “But yes, I’m homosexual. So I guess I am the perfect person to help you with your problem”.

“No kidding…” Yamah smiled, feeling less tense now. Who would have imagined Yamada-sensei was gay? The silver haired youth maintained his slow steps to follow his teacher, now with more interest than before.

“Yamada-sensei… I think I’m in love with this person” the young man started with an anxious voice as the older man listened carefully while staring at the concrete walkway. “At first I felt ashamed of my feelings towards him, but then I slowly started to accept them. That was before I knew who he really was, and then all I could feel was confusion”, the youngster explained, remembering the time Eiji told him about being brothers.

“Hmm… sometimes the expectations you have from a person are not always what you were hoping for” Mamoru said, his words filled with wisdom, “but that’s just one of the many tasks you have to attain when trying to be with someone… tolerance it’s the key”.

“I see… I’m not really tolerant though…” the young man admitted to his professor.

“I know. That’s why you should try harder if you want to keep that special relationship with that person” the black haired man responded, getting closer to a nearby bench and sitting. Yamah followed him, sitting beside Mamoru, who took a box of cigarettes from his pocket and placed one between his lips. He offered one to Yamah, who accepted it, but saved it for later inside his shirt pocket.

“I know it’s hard, especially when you are a novice in this sort of matters” the young doctor said while lighting his cigarette. “You are young, that’s why you must live this unique experience of falling in love”.

“When did you discover you were gay?” Yamah subtly changed the subject, a bit interested in his teacher’s past. Mamoru stared at the youngster from the corner of his eye, smiling at his student’s question.

“I believe I was more or less your age. I had this beautiful girlfriend, but once she decided to take things a ‘bit further’… needless to say, I wasn’t really excited about it”, the young doctor told him. “I later started dating men, I thought at first it was just a stage in my life… but I guess I kind of stuck to it”.

“Maybe that’s the problem with me… but I can’t think of leaving this person now. I feel so attached to him that it hurts” the teenager acknowledged. Mamoru finished his cigarette, throwing it on the ground and putting it out by smashing it with his shoe.

“Well, my last advice to you is this: don’t give up. If you really feel something for this person, don’t give any importance to the gender… just follow your feelings and let them flow” Mamoru glanced at his watch, noticing it was almost time for him to leave for his next class.  “I have to leave now; it’s almost 11:00 AM. Don’t hesitate to come to me when you need more help, ok?”

Yamah stood up immediately after his teacher, and gave him a deep bow. “Domo arigato gozaimasu!” He was grateful, and would make himself sure to follow his tutor’s advice.

“Oi, oi, don’t do that, as far as I know I’m just some years older than you” Mamoru grabbed Yamah’s shoulders to raise his upper body from the deep bow. “Now go kid, or else I will have to report you to the principal”.

“Hai” the white haired boy nodded, taking his bag once again and walking away from his professor.

Mamoru watched at his prodigious apprentice disappear between the gardens. He was smiling; he felt as if he was almost a father to Yamah; a father he never had. Strange feeling, but I hope he will be fine now. The young, black haired professor continued his course, entering the NPHS building with passive steps.