by Lara Yokoshima

This is an alternate universe (AU) fiction, based on the Project: Unigenitus main characters. It can also have some small appearances of characters from other of my stories. Nothing written on this story can be related to PU, except for some character behaviors and names.

XI. You Don't Care About Us

A soft breeze entered the silent room through the open window where two young men faced each other with some discomfort. Even though the sun was bright and the window’s curtains were fully opened, a dark atmosphere still surrounded them.

“You gotta be kidding me,” the white haired boy faintly muttered, taking a few steps back while he stared at the brunette with a frown.

“Yashiro, I…”

“Stop calling me that!” the youth shouted, quickly interrupting Eiji.

“Please calm down” Eiji tried his best to calm the other youth, “Listen to me, I…”

“You are lying. I don’t have a brother!” Yamah said, suppressing his memories and feelings.

“Not only a brother… a twin brother” the brunette explained more clearly as he advanced slowly towards the white haired man in front of him, taking care not to disturb him anymore than he already was in that moment.

“Liar…” Yamah said, still staring at the brunette’s golden eyes. He wanted to escape, but the other boy’s body was conveniently blocking the entrance of the room, leaving him no place to run.

“I am not lying,” Eiji responded. “I’ve finally found you, Yashiro.  After 11 long years I found you; attending the Nephillim Private School here in the city” the brunette continued with excitement in his voice, “and so I signed up right away for the next year.” But Yamah remained confused, and continued to stare at Eiji with distrust.

“No… this can’t be…” the white haired boy sat down on the bed slowly, thinking about what to do next. Eiji… my twin brother? Could it be possible that my nightmares are becoming real?

“Don’t you remember aniki?” Eiji asked a little worried, wondering what he could say to trigger Yamah’s memories. “Don’t you think it was a little strange that two people with a rare family name such as “Yokoshima” would be in the same classroom or end up as your roommate? What about the simple fact that we both feel attracted to each other? Isn’t that enough?!” the brunette insisted.

“But, my mother… she told me…” Yamah staggered, placing both his hands over his head trying to remember anything.

“And where is your father now?” Eiji questioned him.

“He abandoned us when I was 5 and died later in a plane accident” Yamah repeated his mother’s words, his sight lost in the void.

“That’s a lie!” Eiji got closer this time, kneeling down in front of the white haired boy sitting on the bed. “Our parents got divorced! The old man took me with him, keeping me away from my family… from you” the brunette replied with sorrow in his voice. “Did you really forget all of this? I never have, not for a single moment in my life. Our separation was just too painful for me, how could you possibly forget something like that?”

Yamah raised his eyes to see Eiji’s golden ones staring at him with a frown. The white haired boy stood up from the bed, walking very slowly towards the door. The brunette stood up immediately, fearing Yamah would escape like he always used to.

“Where are you going?” Eiji asked, trying to stop the other young man by grabbing his hand. Yamah rapidly withdrew his hand, looking at the brunette with sharp, but sad eyes. He then remembered the moment when they had kissed, causing him to feel even more confusion about his feelings towards Eiji, his brother.

“I’m going home.” Yamah finally said, grabbing his keys before stepping through the door.  He ran down the corridor with haste, hoping that Eiji would not follow him this time.

The brunette remained still and quiet for a few moments after watching his twin escape through the door. He let out a sigh, closing his eyes tightly. A tiny tear traveled down his cheek and he felt incapable of following Yamah. He let his body fall over the plain white door of the room, holding himself with his arms around his head and beginning to sob silently.

Running as fast as he could between the ample gardens, Yamah was now leaving the campus of the NPHS; he thought escaping was the only thing he could do now as he reached a bus stop around the corner. Then he remembered Koji’s words, as they echoed constantly in his mind: “You never want to face the facts. You always run away. Is that your way of solving your problems?”

Do I? Do I always run away? Yamah now understood what his old friend tried to say that morning at the cafeteria. Easing his steps, he stopped at the corner of the block. His chest heaved fast, his heart pounded strongly, so strong that it actually hurt.

After a few minutes, the bus arrived, and Yamah boarded the transport, paying the fee with the little change that he kept in his pockets. He walked towards the very end of the bus, sitting down in one of the last seats, as the bus started moving again. The young man stared outside the wide windows, noticing how the distance between himself and Eiji became wider. In that single moment, he remembered something.  He remembered his dream; a hand reaching for another hand, and then an immense feeling of unbearable pain. “Eiji!” He shouted in his mind as he recalled the details of the dark, reoccurring dream, “It is you!” Yamah could feel his eyes filling with tears as he extended his hand to touch the cold window, now knowing that he had committed the worst mistake in his life.

Now that he had finally been reunited with his lost brother, the only thing he could do was run away. Still, he did not want to go back, he needed more time to think. The trip home seemed endless, but it helped him unblock his traumatized mind. Now I remember, Eiji.  The white haired youth thought of his brunette twin brother, realizing how different and yet how similar they both were. Eiji, my dear brother… my first love. Yamah now clearly remembered the few years they had spent together.

They didn’t even live in Tokyo originally. He couldn’t recall the name of the little town where they used to live, but he did remember it was a peaceful place near the coast. Their house wasn’t big enough due to their father’s low income and their lifestyle could be considered somewhat mediocre. He remembered the details of his house as well: only two bedrooms with a shared bathroom, a small kitchen and dinning room, and a tiny living room with an old couch and TV. Those were the good times, when he and Eiji used to play in the small backyard, which they luckily had for themselves.

They must have been roughly 5 years old when they lived there. Yamah weakly smiled when he remembered the one time when they had snuck out of their room late at night. They wanted to watch some TV since their parents had always told them that TV programs at those hours of the night weren’t suitable for children. He, always being the most disobedient one, woke up Eiji that night and pulled him out of his bed. The little brunette child followed his brother with sluggish eyes until they reached the living room. There, little Yashiro turned on the old TV, and quickly began changing the channels.

“See? There is nothing bad about TV at this time” the white haired child said full of confidence to his brother beside him.

“Can we go to sleep now, Ya-chan?” the brunette boy affectionately asked his twin brother, pulling his arm, indicating that they should go to bed.

“Wait, look…” the other boy said when he found something interesting on one of the few channels that they had. It was some kind of soap opera, and it caught the two boys’ attention instantly. It featured a scene, where a man spoke to a beautiful woman, apparently declaring his love to her:

~ I will never leave you alone, my love ~ the man said to his lover very close to her while holding her hands with tenderness ~ Please marry me, and I promise you I will protect you always ~

The woman answered with a faint nod of her head as they closed their lips, joining them in a loving kiss.

Both boys stared at the scene, truly confused when the man kissed the woman after saying those words. Yashiro laughed a little at the clichéd scene, imitating the words to Eiji in an attempt to make fun of it. He took the small brunette’s hands, staring directly into those big, round golden eyes. “Please marry me”, he repeated with a joking smile.

“N-nani?” the confused brunette didn’t know what to say, as a soft blush appeared on his porcelain cheeks.

“Let’s marry, Eiji…” the white haired boy repeated, this time more seriously to his platonic love. “I will protect you from everyone who tries to harm you. I will always be with you, I promise”.

“Yashiro…” the brunette whispered his brother’s name, half closing his eyes as they both slowly got closer to each other until finally, their lips met in their first kiss.

“Eiji…” Yamah returned to reality again. “I’m sorry I couldn’t keep the promise, and I’m sorry I was the one who harmed you instead of protecting you” he whispered to himself with tears in his platinum eyes.

The bus stopped suddenly. Yamah realized this was his stop, so he quickly dried his tears and rose from his seat before getting out of the vehicle. Just after watching the bus depart, Yamah quickly walked towards his house, thinking of what to say to his mother when he arrived home.  It was then that he noticed something different. The white haired youth could see his house now, and a luxurious BMW car parked just in front of it. What? I don’t recall mom buying a new car, especially one this expensive.

Yamah hastened his steps to the point of running until he reached the main door of his house. He took his key, and quickly introduced it into the doorknob, opening the door with impatience. Walking through the short corridor, he reached the living room where he saw his mother sitting on the couch.  Next to her, sitting on the other couch, was a man dressed in a gray suit that Yamah didn’t recognize.

“Son? Wha…?” the surprised woman wanted to ask him why he was there, but the words didn’t come out. Yamah then stared at the man, who immediately rose from his seat, facing the young man who had fixated his platinum eyes onto the golden ones of the other.

“Who are you?” the white haired youth questioned the man with a tranquil voice.

“You have grown, Yashiro” was the only thing the older man responded with a subtle smile on his face.

Yamah’s eyes widened when he heard the other man’s low voice. He tightened his fists, while his humid eyes now recognized the older man standing in front of him. An unstoppable rage was beginning to take possession of his heart, while clenching his teeth; he hurled his body towards the man in a swift move that threw them both onto the ground.

“You fucking bastard!! I hate you! I hate you!” the silver haired youth shouted while punching the man’s body with all his strength as tears escaped from his pale eyes. “Why did you take him away from me?! Why?!! You had no right to do that, you fucking son of a bitch!! What did we do to deserve such a thing?! Answer me! You don’t care about us, do you?! You don’t care how much pain we had to endure because of your stupid problems that had nothing to do with us!”

“Yashiro! Please, don’t hit your father!!” the woman tried to stop her infuriated son from doing anymore harm to the man that was trying to block the young man’s strong hits.

“Quiet!” the youth responded stopping his frantic punches for a moment, “This man here is not my father! He stole Eiji from me and you knew what was going on and yet you didn’t do anything to stop it! You lied to me! You fucking manipulated your own 5 year-old son!”

As quickly as he could, the other man took advantage of the youth, grabbing Yamah by his arms and turning his body around; now the white haired youth was being held with strength by the man he once considered a father in his younger years.

“You brainwashed me…” Yamah cried to his mother with a broken heart, struggling a little but finding himself restrained by the other man’s stronger grip.

“Easy, boy” the older man said, still holding Yamah and not letting him go.

“Why…?” the white haired youth asked to his mother, his body now more relaxed than before. The mother didn’t say a thing.  She stood there like a stone statue when she saw the sorrow in her son’s sad eyes staring at her.

The other man then released the youth when he felt he would no longer struggle. He stood up, but Yamah remained there on the floor as great disappointment filled his conflicted heart. Why did they do this to us…? If only I had been stronger, I could have kept my promise. There is no god in this world! I hate it!

Once the youth decided to stand up, he walked towards his room not daring to look back to the man standing there next to his worried mother.

“Yashiro, please…” the woman said with a faded voice, trying to speak as delicately as possible to her troubled son.

“I am not Yashiro. Don’t you dare call me that again” the youth responded, while he went up the stairs, disappearing into his room.

Yamah stayed at his house all weekend, most of the time locked up in his room. His mother had attempted to speak with him several times, but she couldn’t get her son to come out, or even listen to what she had to say through the closed door.

There was something Yamah considered important in one of those ‘conversations’ with his mother though, the reason why his father had come back after all this years. She explained that after the divorce, they had a mutual agreement; that he would keep Eiji and she would keep him. “I know it sounds inconsiderate, but it was the best we could do at that time”, she explained with a soft voice, trying to make her confused son understand. But Yamah couldn’t, or didn’t want to understand. He thought it would have been better if he had never existed in the first place.

“Your father… he came back for Eiji” the mother kept speaking through the door. “He said Eiji just disappeared one day, not telling him where he went. Then he later found out that Eiji was living at the NPHS dormitories, attending the same high school as you”.

Yamah now understood what Eiji had been doing all this time. But why didn’t Eiji tell me everything in the first place? Why did he keep that secret away from me? Didn’t he feel so happy that he had finally found me after 11 long years? He thought as the image of their kiss returned to his mind once again. Is it wrong to love him the way I do?

Another memory returned to him in that instant. It was the time they got separated, the blocked memory that tried to resurrect in his dreams. Their father had finally gotten an important job in a very renowned company. The income became greater, and so they were having a better life economically speaking. But the kids noticed something different in their parents too. The constant fights, the shouting, it was something the boys didn’t like about their new, but more stressful life. There was much more fear, until one night they couldn’t stand it anymore. The father screamed at the mother, calling her names while she replied the same way. A slap could be heard, followed by more screams and a faint sobbing sound.

Eiji was so scared; he crawled into Yashiro’s bed, clinging to him as his brother embraced him tightly. Yamah still remembered his twin brother’s quivering lithe body so close to him, feeling the warmth of it reaching his very soul. He wanted to calm him down, but he was also feeling scared at that time. Both twins held each other in an attempt to not hear the fight outside, falling asleep next to each other until the shouts and cries outside were nothing more than a bad dream.

While sleeping, a hand grabbed Eiji’s arm, pulling him out of the bed. Yashiro could notice that a man was taking his brother away. “Aniki!” the brunette cried to his brother who tried to reach for his hand. The mother tried to stop her husband from stealing the boy, but also pushed her out of the way and onto the floor. Yashiro didn’t know what to do, and he tried to follow his father and Eiji, but his mother stopped him by holding his weak body in her arms, fearing the father would also take him away.

In the distance, little Yashiro watched his father carry his brother to the car before driving away with haste in the middle of the dark night. Not even the white haired boy’s screams would bring his Eiji back. It was the most devastating moment in his life.

Too painful to forget, eh? Yamah sighed, ashamed of himself. I was able to forget though. Just after they took Eiji away from me, mom and I moved to Tokyo. She was able to sell the small house and get all the money she had saved the past several years.  Later we found this place in this tranquil neighborhood, but I couldn’t forget Eiji. Every time I asked her where my brother had gone, she only replied with the same thing: that I never had a brother and that it was only a product of my own imagination. Yamah realized his mother had been lying to him all this time, and she had succeeded in making him forget by sending him to a psychiatrist to treat his trauma and block his memories. Being 5 years old it was a rather easy task to achieve. After that, all I can remember is that I decided that my name wasn’t going to be Yashiro anymore…

But the young man still had many more unanswered questions. I have to go back; I have to know everything he knows. I won’t let that man take Eiji away from me again!

The young man rapidly rose from his bed where he had been lying all this time. Without wasting more time, Yamah put on his boots and stormed out of the room. Maybe I can still keep that promise. Maybe I can! Taking his keys with him, he walked down the stairs, running towards the door.

“Yashiro! Wait!” the mother could hear her son running, escaping once again from her.

I have to go! I’m sorry mother, but I can’t come back…, the young man quickly opened the door, leaving his house. Eiji, please wait for me! Yamah screamed in his mind as if he were sending the brunette a message through telepathy. Luckily, the bus was there, and the youth boarded it with haste. I will redeem my mistakes Eiji. That is my new promise.