by Lara Yokoshima

Chapter Four - Test of Confidence

Eiji stared up at the cracked ceiling with a look of contempt from his hospital bed. “A hospital” he mumbled, “he brought me to a damn hospital.”

Although he could not explain the deep loathing he felt for such facilities, Eiji did know that he would rather be just about anywhere else at the moment. I have to get out of here…

“Eiji?”

The familiar sound of Kamuro’s voice quickly brought a halt to his escape plans. Eiji sighed when he realized that Kenji must have called his brother and told him about his situation.

Kamuro ran through the doorway with his arms extended. “Eiji,” he said, almost tackling his older brother as he hugged him, “are you alright?”

“I’m okay,” Eiji answered, holding Kamuro close, “don’t worry.”

Kamuro hugged him enthusiastically, relieved that he did not appear to be seriously hurt. “I’m sorry, I can’t help it!”

Eiji could help but feel deeply touched by Kamuro’s concern for him. His bond with his brother seemed to grow stronger every day and he wondered for a moment how much harder things would be without his brother’s support and encouragement. Kamuro’s welfare and survival were a factor in nearly every decision he made and motivated him in almost everything he did.

He cradled the back of his brother’s head and whispered into his ear. “I am not dying or anything, don’t worry.”

Nikolai began sob as he watched the touching scene in front of him. He had not realized until now how much he missed being held and cherished in the same manner he was witnessing. Memories of his beloved mother began to surface as he watched the display or brotherly love unfold in front of him, and despite his best efforts, he cannot contain his emotions.

*Sniff!*

Eiji’s body suddenly froze when he heard someone else in the room. His wide golden eyes scanned the area several times before finally falling on the sobbing blonde teenage boy standing near the door. The rapid beating of his heart slowed somewhat when he noticed that the boy seemed touched by the scene of him with his brother.

“Oh!” Kamuro exclaimed; a bit embarrassed that he had forgotten about his friend. “Its okay Eiji! This is my best friend, Nikolai.”

Nikolai blushed when Kamuro introduced him and looked down at the floor when he became the center of attention. He did his best to regain his composure and approached the foot of the bed. “H… Hi,” he said quietly, “…its nice to meet you.”

For a moment Eiji wondered if his brother just took pity on the poor, nervous wreck of a boy in front of him, but he then decided that it would not be fair to pass judgment on Nikolai without even trying to become better acquainted with him. He brushed his hand over his forehead and sighed as he tried to hide his doubt and pity.

“It is nice to meet you,” he said with a polite nod, “thank you for coming here with Kamuro.”

“So,” Eiji continued as he turned to face at his brother again, “did you invite Nikolai to our place before coming here?”

Kamuro went to his friend’s side and nodded happily. “Yes! He came over after school!”

The older Yokoshima brother remained silent for a moment as he studied his brother standing alongside his friend. Kamuro seemed genuinely happy with the quiet Russian boy, and Eiji could not help but feel a little guilty for perhaps judging his brother’s first friend a bit too harshly.

“Nikolai,” he said calmly, “you can come over whenever you wish.”

A wide smile gradually stretched the corners of the blonde’s lips. It was not often that he actually felt wanted, and the simple open invitation from Eiji did a great deal to put him at ease. “Thank you, that… that is very kind of you.”

“Well,” Kamuro interrupted with a grin, “how was the karate class?”

Thoughts of Kenji quickly flooded Eiji’s mind when asked about his trip to the dojo. He was a bit alarmed by how easily his imagination supplied him with detailed images of the blond martial artist.

“It was…” he began, still unsure of how he would answer, “It was alright.”

“By the way,” Eiji quickly added, “why did you give up your gift certificate for me Nikolai?”

Nikolai folded his arms behind his back and looked at Kamuro shyly before answering. “Well,” he started softly, “now that Kamuro is my best friend, I… don’t need self defense lessons…”

Kamuro eyes immediately looked down towards the floor. The flesh on his cheeks turned a rosy shade of red and the embarrassment caused by Nikolai’s comment was obvious for all to see. He had not stopped to think about just how much their friendship had developed until now, and he could not help but feel deeply flattered by Nikolai’s statement.

Eiji watched on, almost amused by how his brother was rendered speechless by his foreign friend’s words. Apparently the friendship they shared was deeper than he had thought. He could feel one of the many weights on his heart begin to slowly lift; at last Kamuro had found another person he could relate to and spend time with. The same boy who he had been skeptical of only minutes ago had managed to ease his guilt of leaving Kamuro alone at home so often.

Time seemed to accelerate as Kamuro and Nikolai chatted with him. They eventually told him about how they met, various occurrences at school, and about Nikolai’s foster family.

“Alright you two,” he finally said, “it is getting late, you should really get going.”

Eiji sighed softly, and reclined back down onto the bed as they looked up at the clock. “You should get home Nikolai before your foster parents start to worry.”

“And as for you,” he said in a more serious tone as he addressed his brother, “I am sure that you have plenty of homework left to do before you go to bed.”

Kamuro rolled his eyes and smiled sarcastically. “Yeah yeah, we’re going already, calm down.” He followed Nikolai to the door, but turned back to look at his older brother before following the blond out.

He began to breathe a little easier when Kamuro dimmed the lights and stepped through the door. “Kenji,” he whispered, “why did you have to bring me here? To this… this damn hospital?” He was alone at last, perhaps now he would be able to slip out of the building undetected.

*Click!*

Eiji’s body tensed at the sudden sound of the room’s door being opened. His eyes immediately looked to the doorway and fell on the unmistakable figure of Kenji.

The blond smiled slightly when their eyes met, and slowly began making his way towards the hospital bed. “I was just about to leave,” he said, “but I thought I would check on you before I did.”

Eiji could still see the tight black Karate uniform beneath Kenji’s heavy jacket and concluded that the blond must have been there with him the entire day.

“You didn’t need to stay here Kenji,” he replied, doing his best to hide his frustration, “I feel fine.”

Kenji stood next to the bed, towering over him and looking down at his body like a curious giant. Eiji’s legs shifted anxiously under the simple bed sheet; he could almost feel the blonde’s eyes on him.

He stared back at the karate instructor, unable to tear his gaze away from the man who had haunted his thoughts as of late. The blond standing over him looked a bit uneasy and perhaps even a bit nervous as he studied Eiji’s body. What is wrong? Did something happen when I was…

The silence became nearly unbearable to him, and Eiji decided to break it. “Kenji,” he said calmly, “I wish you would not have brought me here. I don’t remember what happened, but if I did anything wrong…”

Kenji’s expression softened at the sound of Eiji’s voice. Even though the incident in the locker room at his dojo made him a bit nervous, but he still felt strangely drawn to the young man. And although Eiji hid his emotions well, he could still sense fear and nervousness beneath his cool exterior. He was now quite certain Eiji had no memory of what had taken place.

“Eiji,” Kenji finally said, “I’m…”

“Good evening,” another voice interrupted, “I would like to take a moment to discuss the terms of this young man’s release with you.” A tall, thin middle-aged doctor in a white lab coat stepped into the room.

Kenji closed his eyes and took a moment to suppress his annoyance with the intrusive doctor before turning to greet him “Of course doctor,” he said politely, “what is it that you wish to know?”

The doctor sifted through his notes, double-checking his information before speaking. “According to your friend’s information, I can only speculate that he had a violent seizure. However,” he paused, taking a moment to look over blonde’s shoulder at Eiji on the bed, “as far as we have been able to determine, you are in remarkable health my friend, perhaps the healthiest patient that we have ever had at this hospital. But we would like to run a few more test before you leave if we could…”

“Test?” Eiji whispered under his breath. The doctor’s voice echoed in his ears, growing louder with each passing moment as it continued to repeat that same, dreadful word over and over again. Test...

Eiji shut his eyes and covered his ears with his hands as more voices joined the doctor’s in repeating the short, chilling word until he could hear nothing else. No!

A tidal wave of horrid memories, of secrets long forgotten and of nightmares long ignored suddenly flooded into Eiji’s mind in a matter of seconds. He opened his eyes, trying everything he could to get rid the terrible images, but much to his horror he was instead treated to a display far worse than his hospital room.

A group of men dressed in white lab coats and concealing surgeons mask huddled over him, looking down at his naked body from overhead. He tried to lean forward and stand up, only to discover that he was bound to the cold surface below by several steel restraints.

The stitches binding his lips together effectively silenced his screams and cries for help. Helpless and completely vulnerable, Eiji did the only thing he could do and watched on with fear as the surgeons ran their vile, latex-covered hands over every inch of his exposed flesh.

His eyes quickly fell on a lone, unmasked surgeon standing at the opposite side of the room. Eiji could see tears in the man’s eyes beneath his round glasses, and for a moment he clung to the small hope that this man would be his savior and save him from his peril. The unmasked surgeon averted his eyes when he realized he had been noticed, but he could not mask the look of pity on his face or contain his grief.

A muffled cry ripped through his throat as he felt the bite of a cold, metal blade carving into his chest. The pain of the incision was so sharp it stabbed; so intense that it seared his entire body. The stitches that held his lips together finally tore apart from his efforts and at long last his desperate screams were set free.

The room began to shatter like glass around him as his screams filled the air. Like the aftermath of nightmare, he broke into a cold sweat and began wheezing as he tried to frantically breath air.

“No test!” he croaked between his frantic breaths, “please!”

Kenji ran to Eiji’s side, leaving the bewildered doctor behind. The younger man immediately latched onto him when Kenji drew close to the side of the bed, embracing him and holding closely as if he were some kind of shield.

Kenji gave the doctor a menacing look as Eiji’s body began to quake in his grasp. “No doctor,” he warned, “there will be no test.”

The doctor glared at him cruelly for a few seconds, as if wanting to protest but then deciding that it would be better if he did not. “Very well,” he relented “but I still need to discuss the matter of payment before he can go.”

The martial artist sighed quietly in disgust at the doctor’s words and reached into his jacket to retrieve his checkbook. He hastily scribbled a rather generous amount payable to the hospital on an empty check and tore it from the booklet.

“Here,” he said sternly, holding the check out to the doctor, “I assume that this will be enough to cover his expenses?”

The doctor’s eyes widened a bit as he read the check. “Why yes,” he said, failing to hide his surprise, “I believe this should cover everything. I will tell the nurse that he is to be released in the morning.” He bowed his head respectfully in Kenji’s direction before turning around and leaving the room.

“I’m sorry Kenji,” Eiji said, his voice still unsteady. He released his hold on the larger man and turned his head away as he spoke. “It is… my fault that you got dragged into this.”

Kenji raised an eyebrow curiously and looked at Eiji’s face. “Your fault? Why?”

Eiji remained silent, offering no reply or even acknowledging the question. His mind was still too haunted by the chilling vision he had experienced only minutes ago and Kenji’s words did not even register.

The blond grabbed Eiji’s shoulders, holding them firmly as he leaned in closer to his face to get his attention. “Eiji?” he said in a concerned voice, “are you alright?”

The younger man shuddered when he felt Kenji’s hands on his shoulders. Just the power of the other man’s touch seemed to melt away his worries and ease his torment. He could no longer deny that his attraction to this man was deeper than simple admiration, for whenever Kenji was nearby he could focus on nothing else. No other man or woman that he could remember had ever had such an effect on him.

“Kenji,” he said, his voice just loud enough for the other to hear, “thank you for sending the doctor away and taking care of the costs. I will repay you… somehow.”

“You owe me nothing,” Kenji answered softly, “but if you still feel the need to repay me you can do so by coming to my class.” His right hand left Eiji’s shoulder and moved down to caress his upper arm. “You have great potential, but you need to learn self discipline and control. With guidance I have no doubt that your abilities could rival my own.”

Kenji felt in his heart that he could truly help Eiji. It seemed like destiny had brought them together, and he feared that if Eiji rejected his offer, the troubled young man may very well self-destruct. After the incident in the locker room he knew that Eiji needed help, and he was almost certain that he could provide it.

“Please,” he pleaded, “I can help you… if you let me.”

Eiji took a moment to consider the offer; rational thought suggested that he reject the offer, but his desire to be near Kenji still won out. He stared into the blue depths of the blonde man’s and nodded his head in agreement.

A wide smile slowly stretched the corners of Kenji’s mouth. He had searched far and wide for a student that would one day be able to match his strength and skill, and at long last he felt that the search was over. His hand moved away from Eiji’s arm to cradle his chin.

“Thank you,” Kenji said as he held Eiji’s face, “you have… no idea how pleased I am to hear that.”

Eiji’s cheeks tingled with warmth when he felt those fingertips on his face. His heart began to race once again, but this time it was anticipation rather than fear that raced through his veins. Kenji face was so close to his own that he could feel the other man’s breath on his skin. How could this man have such an effect on him?

It had been a long time since he had allowed anyone to get so close to him, and yet despite his attraction to Kenji there is still a conflict within Eiji. A part of him wanted to finally give in, and embrace the handsome blond without a second thought. But another, more insistent part warned him that he still hardly knew him.

Kenji froze when Eiji turned his head away from him. He blinked; shocked that he had given into his instincts yet again. “Eiji I…” he whispered, pulling himself away from the other man, “I’m sorry, but… I have to go now.”

The younger man watched on silently as Kenji mumbled a few apologies and quickly made his way to his feet. “I will call you tomorrow,” the blond said as he approached the door, “to make sure you are alright and to schedule your lessons.”

Eiji was half tempted to call out to the karate instructor and insist that he stay, but instead he said nothing. In a way he felt afraid of the man; afraid of how close he allowed him to get, and afraid of what he felt whenever he was around.

He was once again left alone in the hospital room with only his thoughts to console him. He no longer felt like fleeing the building or running home to be with his brother; all Eiji wanted now was to be alone.