OUTRAGEOUS - A letter from my Winter Garden -
by Kassandra Gautier

They surely will find the letter. It doesn't matter. That letter is a simple game to solve. Like a diabolic puzzle. But this one... it will never be found. This is only for you.

Maybe you can read it the day of your rebirth. Far in the time. Lost in the time. Now... I am here, smoking a cigarette with my face against the crystals that sorround this, our secret Winter Garden. Thinking on you, thinking in that terrible instant, when I saw your face for the first time. Do you remember it? Do you remember..? Forsaken memories! They hurt... they hurt so much tonight! Do you remember the first hour, the first minute, when our eyes crossed their flames?

This was in the old ShinRa Building, in the evening of a cold autumn day, between the gelid atmosphere of the official business. You were at the entrance of the Presidential Room, watching the main office door. In a brief moment of relax, you fired a cigarette, and began to talk with your companion, Kanamori Akai - blonde hair, pink carnation's lips, and the gay essence erupting by all the holes of his depravated being -, called also "The Naja Tripudians" between your staff members. I knew him during a night of orgy... so wasted! His weaknesses and his affictions were the supreme shame of all your staff. The Turks...the Presidential Elite Corps... the Argos of the system! Having a guy like that between their files! Repugnant.

But you were different. So tall, so splendid in your figure, with a privilegiated ivory body, plain of strenght and fragility at the same time. Powerful... but delicate. Beautiful in your blue suite, with your hair - your luxurious, forsaken black-raven hair! - falling careless, casually over your perfect shoulders. And your eyes... meridional, deep black eyes, like nocturne crystals... so brilliant... so burning... melancholy firing! Your mouth... I can't talk about your mouth, crimson vulcan of depravation, passionate wound, cave of my definitive humilliation!

"Professor, Mr.President is waiting for you in the Golden Room", the neutral female voice said to me. I came in, and returned in a while. You were there, too. Smoking another cigarette, talking with that stupid Kanamori. Was he your lover? Yes, he was. He was your first experience. I knew it later. And I proceeded to eliminate him. Because I was the one who killed Kanamori Akai, not the rebels! I, blind of jelousy, gave the orders to attack your Headquarters. Only to catch and destroy him!

Your former boss, Col. Ahmed Rahim, called "The Desert Aquila", was sitting near to me. I asked him:

"Aquila... what about the young man who is talking with The Naja?"

"Ah... that one?", he pointed with his long browned finger. "Another meridional guy. A newcomer from nowhere. His name was...Vincenzo di SanValentino, or something like that... bah, it doesn't matters!", Rahim began to laugh. "Because we have transformed him into "The Outrageous Raven", also called The Silent Death! Oh, yes! The Lt. Vincent "Suddendeath" Valentine, a true machine of murder, the best shooter of all the staff! Cold, effective, absolutely no mercy... and with an hydropic thirst for gold. There isn't anything that he doesn't do for money!"

"Is Outrageous Raven his habitual surname?"

"Yes, it is. Or more simplified, The Raven. Do you like him, eh, Ithzak?"

Rahim looked like an exploding bomb, turning himself red and more red because of his laugh attack.

"Well, professor... I will tell you... in confidence... more than nine inches... all right?"

And saying this, he disappeared into the Presidential office, without stop laughing.

You suddenly stopped talking with the Naja, and our eyes crossed themselves in a burning call. You looked at me... so insinuant, that I begun to touch my own penis, to release myself a bit. Taking off my silver glasses, I put my hand there, an made a soft caress on it, licking my lips with my tongue, without stop looking firmely at your eyes. You smiled. I could see your teeth. Scaring... white knives...

A half hour after... you were mine. Or better, I was entirely yours. An unfortunated slave of your incredible beauty. In the chamber of my old single appartment, I covered your marble naked shoulders with a red velvet cape, caressing your skin. A true gothic picture. Haunted presage! Tragic premonition! And, finally, on knees before you, I kissed your balls with devotion, licking the crystaline juice erupted by your penis.

Your penis! A large blood carnation, deep rose, with its purple veins full of liquid desire. A masterwork of nature. The most big and beautiful manhood that I have seen in all my life! I sucked you during more than twenty minutes,and I understood that you were rested in abstinence for a while. I felt the semen fulling your penis, passing across the manhood like an impatient viper. I heard your angsty voice:

"Oh, let me cum... I need to cum... I cannot resist... Let me cum, please!"

You moaned for a while, exciting me until my most criminal desires. Inmediately after, you released a hot salad ocean of sperm into my throat, screaming, falling down over me in a delightful gesture of extenuation. Finished the orgasm, I licked the rests of seminal liquor from your manhood, softly... so softly... for I won't cause you a painful sensation. You couldn't stop moaning! You couldn't stop sighing! Finally, you released completely, with a face of absolute satisfaction, involved in my red velvet gift, like a forsaken prince of an impossible realm.

Taking a deep breath, you relaxed all your adorable body, satisfied, putting your tongue in your lips, and licking them with a depravate delight.

"That was good!", you said with your low barytonal voice.

And me, "Now... fuck me, please... I am your slave... your servant... Fuck me until exhaustion!"

You smiled.

"If you were able to make me cum with your tongue... what can I expect from your hole?"

I kissed your mouth, looking for your tongue. Your tongue with the taste of blood. Then, I put myself in the position to be fucked easily. I was a sodomite since my childhood, but I never had felt before into me ten inches of pure manhood!

I was standing over my hands and my knees, getting up my ass, and moving it, feeling that you were erected once more.

"Knock me, destroy me, humilliate me! Put me in the worst bondage! But... please! Please!... Penetrate me! Give me your forbidden piece of palpitant flesh! Give it inside me! Bath my hole with your semen!"

You were masturbating, looking at me, making your penis grow and grow harder. I saw it by the seven mirrors that multiplied your beauty, your delicious expression of animal thirst.

I offered also my hand to you, putting my fingers in the humid zone between your penis and your anus. Feeling this, you moaned more than before. I found your most sensitive spot!

Inmediately after, you penetrated me... I could feel your wonderful strength, hidden into your melancholic aspect. Like a monstruous beast, inhabitant of your inside, coming off from its hideout and invading your angelic body, the seraphical forms of your beauty. You moved inside me during more than one hour.

"Humiliate me! Humiliate me, Outrageous Raven! Please! Make me feel more pain... more... more pain!"

"Do you... like...this?"

You began to knock me. First, with your fists, covered - as always - by black leather gloves. Turk's fists, killer fists with the perfect sense of destruction. Then, you knocked me also with your gun. I began to bleed, with my back wounded by your unholy hands. Your sweat drops were falling and falling down on my bleeding back. I could hear the noise of your tongue, licking the strange mixture of my blood and your sweat. Thirsty. Absolutely thirsty. As I wanted. As I dreamt!

"I like it hard... I like it hard, Raven... Delicious goim... Fuck me hard... faster…"

"Harder? Faster?"

"Yes!...More, more... give me more!..."

You moved inside and out of me, inside and out, each time more deeply and faster, looking for the path. I understood that you couldn't achieve the orgasm. I turned my face to you, with a stupid expression mixtured by pain and pleasure, full of a depravated imbecility.

"Raven... if you can't..."

But your anxious, desperate, roaring voice interrupted me. Yes! The vision of my stupid expression put you in the status of orgasm!

"Dirty jew!... Hatred bastard! I... I... have found the path!... Oh, yes! I'M COMING!... I'm going to cum...! OH! AAAAH!... I'm going to... AAAAAH! I'M CUMMING, SON OF A BITCH!... I'M... CUMMING!!!! I can… feel... my balls... how they... begin to rest... empty!... I'M CUMMING!!!... aghhh... I… I'm… cumming…

You released drop by drop, giving me your juices slowly, delightfuly, with a long moan in each contraction of your orgasm. Your back appeared as a dancing cobra. Your eyes, like vitrous gems, totally lost. Your breath, an interrupted wind, burning like volcanic atmosphere. All the life and all the universe were concentrated for us in the little hole of your manhood, erupting liquid fire into my broken anus. The fluid fell and fell, fulling totally my ass. I felt that it never finished to fall! I followed you inmediately, bathing the bed cover with a huge sperm river.

Finally, after an enormous sigh, we released together completely. You fell over my body, embracing me; you couldn't speak, tired, exhausted, maybe unconscious... I caressed you, putting your head -a miracle of nature!- over my chest. We had an unforgettable night together. You knew very well how to be with a man! You knew very well how to involve me in the absolute madness of your being!

Then, in the bathroom, I sucked you once more, putting my fingers - impregned in an exquisite persian roses oil, so I won't injure you - into your hole. And you enjoyed it!

I sucked you... once more... and more... and more... totally seven times. I wanted to dry your balls... yes... for you didn't need sex with nobody else! Oh! How I enjoyed to mixture of water, sweat and sperm with the essences of violets, of lilacs, orchids and roses that I sparkled over all your skin, like a tender falling dew over the most divine secret garden!

"Outrageous... I think... I think I love you..."

I was in complete bondage. Do you remember, sleeping form of my desires? Do you remember?

After that haunted night, we used to meet everywhere... and to have sex everywhere. I remember the milions of times that we masturbated to each other: in my laboratory, in your staff office, in the two thousand rest rooms of the old ShinRa Building, in the elevators... you asked me always THAT, and I gave you always THAT.

"Enjoy, my delicious specimen...", oh! how those words excited you! My depravate sample... enjoy as much as you want... cum all the times you need!... I can say that I am the only one who made you cum more than twenty times in one night! Do you remember... Costa del Sol?

Ah! This is curious! I can remember specially when I was looking for your penis under the official tables, caressing it with my foot or my knee, and you felt the orgasm need in the middle of the presidential meetings! You had no problems, after all... you cocked; you always cocked... so vicious... promiscue ...you really enjoyed it!

Did you love me? I don't know. But you were happy, your depravate soul was happy with a twined spirit like mine. Then... you betrayed me. In the worst way. In the most horrible way. Here. In this frozen lonely mansion, you said to me those terrible words:

"I know that I'm in love with her..."

And I heard the phrase - a stupid phrase, indeed, not appropriated for you, laughing:

"Fool! That useless woman is my wife!"

Well... I had to punish you for this. I had to create the worst pain, specially for you. Usually, lovers have an engage ring in their left hand. I decided that you will have no more your own. For a left-handed, this is a painful thing, isn't it? The main hand to kill... to shoot... to masturbate...

Forsaken moment! Because I was who asked you as our bodyguard, to protect our secret projects in this old damned mansion! Only to be near you... only for have you every day and every night with me!

Do you remember our last meeting, in this, our secret winter garden? After the most furious sex session we had in all our lives, I asked you, on my knees, at your feet:

"Urinate and vomit over me, Raven... please... do it now!"

And you did, bathing my head with your golden juice, vomiting all the contains of your stomach in my face, in a supreme gesture of humilliation.

"Bastard... dirty jew!"

"Insolent... depravate goim... I... I LOVE YOU!!!"

And then we bonded ourselves in a desperate kiss, devouring our lips and our tongues with an ancestral fury!

The last kiss...

The last dirty kiss... after...

Oh, how this hurts! How this hurts... How to remember that moment? That noise... your laments of pain... Blood. I decided to put your body in a safe place, where only I was able to enter and contemplate you, your insolent beauty, your unholy youth, frozen, petrified for all the eternity! I wanted you to be mine... and you will be only mine!

Do you like the form as I have dressed your body? Ancient black satin... red crimson velvet... leather ribbons everywhere, to sustain your secret beasts... to give you the air of an ancient jenizar... as a giant black male orchid, supreme sexual form, bleeding continuously. Bleeding... like my heart.

Do you like your new eyes? You knew very well the Dante's Inferno. We used to recite ourselves the inmortal words of Ugolino's damnation. We used to remember the granate bloody waters of Flegetonte. Well... you are now like them. Your hands were dirty of blood... now, all of you is pure blood. A divine flower of blood. An evil flower of blood. Evil is beautiful. I have increased your beauty.

As I told you, I have removed your left arm, and replaced it with a huge piece of gold. You were thirsty of gold. Now, this metal is part of you. Do you want that I continue to name all your sins, one by one?

When I saw your face for the last time, like a cold white magnolia, I did a little signal in your left cheek, to make you remember FOREVER all the reasons of this. Yes. You will ALWAYS be a sinner. Like me.

And I have made you join the worst of punishments. You want to die... and you can't! You want to sleep eternally... and you are tortured by the most painful nightmares!...

Don't think that this is a nice thing for me. No. I feel pain. I feel destroyed. How to live a day without you?... a day... and then... another... I WANT TO KNOW HOW TO LIVE AN ENTIRE LIFE WITHOUT YOU!! I will put a respectable mask on my face, to make myself believe that I have forgotten my malediction.

But it will be impossible. You and I know very well this. I hate you and I... I hate the entire world for that... because my malediction has a name, YOUR NAME, that I can't pronunce without feeling myself wasted, ashamed, deadly wounded by the sword of my guilt... of your guilt... of everything. Nobody else may know your name. Nobody else may pronunce your name again! Nevermore. As your onomastic poem says, torturing continuously my soul, night and day. Now... now sleep, my bleeding vicious blossom. Sleep forever into darkness.

LOVE IS DESTRUCTION. Farewell...

I M H

The End

GLOSSARY:

NAJA TRIPUDIANS: Latin name of a snake of India, look-liked cobra, with nice and brilliant colours in the skin. Its poison is lethal for the human beings.

DESERT AQUILA: "Aquila" is the latin (or italian) form for Eagle.

GOIM(or GOHIM): Yiddisch (ancient dialect of Eastern Europe's jewish People) word used by the hebrews to name the non-jewish persons.

ARGOS: A giant from the ancient greek mythology, guardian of the gods' treasures. He had one hundred eyes.

VINCENZO DI SAN VALENTINO: Italian form of the words: "Vincent of Saint-Valentine" (Vincent, who is from St. Valentine's Village).

DANTE'S INFERNO: (Inferno means "Hell"): One of the three parts of the great medieval Poem "La Divina Commedia" (The Divine Comedy), by Dante Alighieri, the maximum Italian Poet (circa 1300). In this Inferno, Dante himself and his mentor's shadow (the ancient latin poet Virgil), talk with the spirits of the most famous sinners and criminals of History.

UGOLINO'S DAMNATION: In the Dante's Inferno, Count Ugolino is punished for his betrayal sin, eternally hungry, devouring his enemy's head.

FLEGETONTE: The river of blood in the Dante's Inferno, where killers and assassins are eternally punished.

NEVERMORE/YOUR ONOMASTIC POEM: In allusion to Edgar A. Poe's masterwork, The Raven, that finishes with these words. Onomastic, because Vincent's surname is, here, The Raven.

JENIZAR: Elite warrior of the ancient Turkish Empire; Sultan's bodyguard. Jenizar dresses looked a lot like Vincent's costume, specially the boots, that were the same.

IMH: Initials of the "complete name" that I have given to Hojo: Ithzak Menahem Hojo.

Kassandra Lygaeia Gautier